Thursday, December 24th, 2009
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20:35 Happy Erev Yuletide
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It seems I haven't posted in awhile, so I'm rectifying that now. I hope everyone had or will have fun/meaningful/stress-free celebrations.
Not a lot of news to report. Had a nice barbecue lunch with my dad, an early birthday for him. He was born on the 26th, which often means one present for birthday/holidays.
went to the endocrinologist's office last week. I have a new NP.I told her how I have been feeling, and had bloodwork done. She put my on thyroid medicine (mine's low). It's only been a few days, but so far I feel about as bad as I did. I hope to hell that changes.
Not the most exciting of holidays, but nice. I've enjoyed the fannish and other cards I've gotten. I got a cool Faux-pod from my dad (I did a good thing by introducing him to Woot and Yugster.). It's supposed to have Wifi access for internet radio, but has been altered not to use it. Apparently there's a way to set it back to the older software version so it can be accessed again, but I'm concerned I am not techy enough to do it correctly. On the other hand, mine is acting a bit glitchy anyway, so it's probably worth a try.
Now I should go back to writing. Perhaps I can manage a Yuletide treat before it's too late. It's a very windy night here, hopefully conducive to putting pen to paper (or type to screen, as may be.)
current mood:  working
current music: A Cery Supernatural Christmas
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Wednesday, December 9th, 2009
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16:43 Ten Years After
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An anniversary today. Ten years ago, almost exactly at this time, my dad, sister, and I were in a hospital room in Norman, Oklahoma witnessing my mother die.
Although a lot has changed since then, It doesn't feel anywhere near a decade.
This is something I wrote not long afterward:
The Day. The Week. The Year.
The Day:
It was the sound of far off geese
on nearly the last day
that I will always
associate with you.
It took me awhile to realize
the windows must be soundproof
or we'd hear
the constant rage of sirens.
It was you -- fighting yourself for breath
both wanting to go gentle
and needing another night
as the spotlight of our lives.
You were always "on"
your smile lit up the darkness
your pain dimmed the sun.
I don't like to think of those last hours
the way your lungs sounded
as they filled with fluid.
We were told it's normal
and you couldn't feel it, anyway.
Thanks to the mercy of morphine.
You lost the fight
at 2:47. Just about the end
of General Hospital.
It was late afternoon
when I said goodbye
I guess the sun was still shining.
The week:
I came home without a mother
I woke up with the flu,
Hardly a fair trade,
if you ask me.
I had to find dark clothes
and appropriate shoes.
I searched the Internet
for a dress that would fit
and wore what I found
in your closet.
I stood, shaking and feverish
as the minyan prayed the Kaddish
in your living room.
It felt right somehow
to be coughing and crying
as if God had taken my breath, as well
You went into the fire and came out
as ashes, in two metal boxes.
Part of me wanted to touch what you had become.
It was ashes and fire
that brought you to this place
One puff at a time.
The year:
It was almost winter
Now it's nearly spring
and you're still gone.
"Can you believe
our mother is still dead?"
My sister e-mailed me.
I wake up every day
and put on your good gold watch
and feel like an impostor in your clothes.
I want to tell you stupid things
How much that Mary and Rhoda movie sucked
how I took a few of your stale Tootsie Rolls
and carry them in your Stone Mountain purse.
I want you to be proud of the 40 pounds I've lost
the poem I've had published. The little ways
my life is coming together,and how I've coped
as everything important fell apart.
(for my mother, Lois, 6-24-31 to 12-09-99)
current mood:  lonely
current music: SGA Miller's Crossing
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Monday, December 7th, 2009
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18:43 Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it SNow
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Sunday, December 6th, 2009
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18:50 Happy Cookie Day?
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More yumminess. Thanks to ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) oxoniensis for my second snowflake. I feel very special indeed. Is today snowflake day?
current mood:  grateful
current music: 60 Minutes
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13:49 It's True, I'm Kind of a Flake
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First off, thank you to the Anonymouse for the delicious looking snowflake cookie on my profile. ::attempts to nom user info page::
Spoke with my dad, my brother is being released today. He'll spend a week at my sister's place then can go back home. I don;t imagine he ought to be flying, so someone will have to drive him. There has already been at least one volunteer.
As it turned out, he ended up only having a double bypass. Bad enough, but still better than a quadruple.
How are you guys?
current mood:  thankful
current music: Good Eats
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Thursday, December 3rd, 2009
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18:36 So Far So Good
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Thanks for the continued good wishes, they are definitely helping. Things seem to be going well for my brother. He's no longer intubated, and is eating solid food. Has no appetite, though, which is understandable. He's either been moved from Recovery to the ICU, or from the ICU to his own room in the cardiac unit. I'm a little unclear on that, but either way is good news.
My dad flies out in the morning. Today he took me and D to a nice lunch. I have leftover chicken and pasta with dill sauce for dinner now. It is delicious.
No big news on my personal front. Plotting my holiday fics. Must buckle down on that, and on uploading to AO3.
current mood:  hopeful
current music: E! News
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Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009
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21:04 Phew!
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Just heard from my dad, all is okay. My brother's surgery started around 2:00 p,m, It went well. He's intubated and still unconscious, but doing as well as they expected.
Thanks everyone for the good wishes. Hopefully they'll keep working as he recovers without complications.
current mood:  relieved
current music: Glee!/Eastwick
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Tuesday, December 1st, 2009
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17:34 I Less Than Three My Brother
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If you guys can spare them, my family could use some good thoughts. My brother was in D.C visiting my sister over Thanksgiving, and had chest pains. He went to the hospital to get checked out, and, although he hadn't suffered a heart attack, he has a lot of blockage. He's scheduled for a quadruple bypass tomorrow.
Needless to say I am very worried. He's 57, and as far as I know never had any heart issues. It does run in the family. My dad had a triple bypass when he was 65, though he hadn't even had any chest pain.. (an insurance physical pointed out the need to get checked out)
My dad will be flying out on Friday, and I feel bad not being able to go myself, but know it isn't feasible.
current mood:  worried
current music: news
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Sunday, November 29th, 2009
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17:34 Rec Me Some Real Reads
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I have $15 in Borders rewards that I need to spend by tomorrow, and I don't know what to get. Any suggestions for worthwhile reads would be very welcome. Good slashy novels or story collections especially so, but really, I'm open to any suggestion. Interesting speculative fiction, humor, etc.
current mood:  curious
current music: Bizarre Foods
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Tuesday, November 24th, 2009
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21:11 Birthday Wishes, and Not Enough Nathan Fillion
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First, late in the day, but still the day birthday wishes to supergrover24. You'll always be my porn muse. I miss you.
Can anyone tell me what happened in the last 20 or so minutes of Castle? The timiing was off in our showing of it here in Nashville and the DVR cut off. Last bit I saw had them going to investigate the catfight.
A bit of a frustrating week, so far. The new portable a/c my sister bought me arrived from UPS with a big crack in it, and pieces missing. It will have to be returned, which is a hassle and a half because it weighs 84 pounds and I have to get a box for it. The one it came in wouldn't open without tearing.
current mood: curious
current music: The Good Wife
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Saturday, November 21st, 2009
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20:28 Favor from the graphically inclined?
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Favor from the graphically inclined? Can anyone remove the text from a photograph for me? I don't think it should be too complicated, it's just beyond my limited skill.
If you wouldn't mind helping with this please let me know, and I'll email it to you.
Thanks in advance
current mood: hopeful
current music: Cats 101
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Thursday, November 19th, 2009
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19:08 That Wish List Meme
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Rules
1. Make a post to your LJ. The post should contain your list of ten holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from something simple and fandom-related to something really big. The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.
2. Surf around your friends list to see who has posted their list. If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf--to spread the joy.
3. There are no rules with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Just wish, and it might come true.Give, and you might receive. And you'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special.
( My list, in no particular order. )
Needless to say, the Fraser part of this icon is the relevant one, here.
current mood: hopeful
current music: Vampire Diaries
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Sunday, November 15th, 2009
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19:06 Dear Yuletide Writer, You Rule Yule!
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So, you're writing me a Yuletide story! First off, let me say thank you so much:) I know I will love reading whatever you come up with.
I don't think I've ever requested any of these fandoms before, and in a few cases didn't realize they had other fen. I'm happy to see I was wrong, and look forward to reading any stories for them, even if they aren't "mine".
On to my fandoms: ( Lois Duncan's Down a Dark Hall, One Life to Live, Music and Lyrics, and Richard M. Peck's Blossom Culp books. )
Whatever you do, I'm so excited that you are my writer! I hope you will be as happy with what you get as I know I wll.
current mood:  excited
current music: Amazing Race
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10:55 Tech advice?
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Does anyone have any experience of cable internet vs DSL? My Comcast is nearly breaking me, and I keep getting calls from AT&T with what sounds like a decent offer. I just don't know if it will be comparably fast enough. They claim that the cable is on a shared connection, and the DSL isn;t, that that won't be a problem, but since they are trying to sell it to me, I figured outside expertise --- like you guys - would be helpful. So, thoights? Suggestions? Warnings?
In other news, I am doubly excited about Yuletide this year. Doubly because apparently I did something glitchy when I signed up, and now have two stories to write. Eep! I also get two stories, so this is a yay. I'm pretty happy with both of my assignments, and am pondering what to write. I'll have to post my Dear Yulewriter letter a little later, since I wanted it to be separate.
Real life wise, still feel like crap, but it was a nice week. Had a nice visit from my sister early on. Ordered portable a.c unit which hopefully will be trouble free and keep me from keeling over.
current mood:  confused
current music: Top Chef
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Thursday, November 5th, 2009
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20:10 Crap, Apparently I both feel like it and write it
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I’ve felt like crap these past couple of days, more so than usual. Yesterday I could hardy stay awake all day, felt thisclose to throwing up at the thought of food, but didn’t. Today I went to the clinic downstairs, and was told my symptoms were related to the problem I’m having with my liver. As it also turns out,, I’m running a low fever, and could have the flu. All I know is, I feel rotten.
(t’s really cutting into my writing time. I signed up for mini_nanowrimo and have barely managed the 100 words a day. I’m not feeling especially sanguine about my writing today. Anyway. Yesterday I saw a really awful review of a story of mine. It wasn’t completely unexpected, the reviewer often has harsh words. But I wasn’t anticipating the part where my story is apparently offensive to disabled people Anyone who knows me knows that isn’t my style.
current mood:  sick
current music: Supernatural
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Monday, November 2nd, 2009
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16:07 Help Me Be Cool
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I posted about this in a more rambly way yesterday, but thought I would do so again in hopes of getting some expertise from you all. I need to buy something to cool my apartment. Does anyone have experiences with portable air conditioners, evaporative coolers, or even really good fans? My issue is that I don't think I can utilize a window for exhaust purposes or draining. I would also consider an air/heat unit, because I have no confidence that the problems I am having with being too hot won't be similar when it is the dead of winter and it gets too cold.
current mood:  hot
current music: The crappy fan going
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Sunday, November 1st, 2009
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17:18 Happy Something (but it isn't me.)
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Pick your greeting:
Happy Half-Priced Candy Day
Oh My God, it's Nano!
Huh, did I remember to set my clock back day?
I can't believe it's been 11 days since I last posted (and that was just a Santa letter). Actually, I guess I can, it's easy for me to get into a quiet mode, or not drum up the energy to post even though I've got things to say. I'm that way about talking, too. If I'm alone, after a while the sound of my own voice (say, when I have to call someone) makes me a little nervous. Phone wise, I've always had this thing where I am uncomfortable talking when someone else is in the room with me.
I have no hopes of managing a real nanowrimo, but am attempting both ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) mini_nanowrimo (100 words a day) and wrisomifu (ten minutes of writing each day), which perhaps this year I can actually do.
Fannish things I am doing /have done today: ponder what I will write for the Due South seekrit Santa, the SGA one, and my Due South six degrees Big Bang.
I also played an unexpected round of Canadian actor bingo by channel surfing to a Lifetime movie with CKR and Hugh Dillon. Murder in her Mind, from 2008 apparently. I'd not heard of it, and suspect it might have been done a little earlier for some Canadian entity, but sold to Lifetme.
Now I'm watching (or half watching as I write) one of those 'a band plays while ice skaters perform' shows on NBC. The 'band' being the Back Street Boys, who look pretty old. I was never a boy-bander, but know their stuff because everyone does, and have read a bit through fannish osmosis. Some of the acts are skating to recorded stuff, the best of which so far has been the Glee version of Don't Stop Believing, which makes it all a layered performance in a weird way. Journey (and all the history the original brings to mind) plus skaters interpretation plus Glee version (and picturing that in my head, along with my own chorus experiences back in high school) plus Glee fandom = a big collage of singing and skating and kitsch.
Getting away from the fandom/writing stuff, sorry, it's been a frustrating week. As I've mentioned, my building is undergoing a lot of renovations, and at some future unknown date I will have to move to another apartment, most likely up a floor. Instead of doing everything at once, so we can just move into an updated place, the fucked up government funding has meant that different jobs must be done at different deadlines. Now we are in the middle of getting air conditioning/heating units, and separately, new toilets. The A/C stuff was supposed to have been finished by the 8th of October, and the toilets were supposed to have taken two weeks or less, and be done a few weeks ago. They have not started on the toilets yet.
The a/c on the other hand, is a major source of stress. I'll put the TLlDR behind a cut, but the gist of it is, they lied to us about our ability to control our own apartments' temperatures, and I am already having serious problems.
( The longer version )
At this point, I am pricing portable air conditioners, and pondering whether there's a strong enough fan out there for me. The problem with the portable a/c units is that I don't know what kind of window access I will have, if any, when the renovations are done. If I have to vent something out a window, it may not be possible. At very least, I may not be able to open it, rather than taping something up to a screen.
Have any of you had experience with portable a/c? Any advice?
current mood:  frustrated
current music: CSI Miami rerun
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Wednesday, October 21st, 2009
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15:30 It's Hard to Type with Paul Gross Arms
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This is probably only interesting to one of you, but the Due South Secret Santa is underway, and I am excited. Here is my letter to the wonderful person who has been given my name. I'm putting it under a cut to spare those who don't care to read my hopeful squeeing.
( Hi Writer or Artist! You are my very favorite:) )
In pretty much any case, no matter what you do, I'll be excited and grateful. It'll be \o/ all over the place. Oh, and just in case you are concerned, it's the Fraser part of my icon that's meant for you. (You might think the Rodney McKay part fits my requests, but I hope not.)
current mood: hopeful
current music: Ellen
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Sunday, October 18th, 2009
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20:23 The Me House of Horror
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Today is the 28th anniversary of my Bat Mitzvah, which doesn't really mean anything, but makes me feel old. Also making me feel old is the fact that the 20th Simpsons' treehouse of horror episode. I haven't watched the show regularly for years, but those are always fun. I haven't had a chance to watch yet, but it's on the DVR
Speaking of the DVR, sorta, I am very unhappy with my cable bill, which has gotten ridiculous and impossible to stay on top of. I dropped my HBO, which will help a little (and I wasn't watching enough to make it worth it). I also get my internet through Comcrap, but am considering looking into DSL instead if I can get enough of a savings. Anyone have experience to tell me how big a difference there is? My computer is about 5 years old and seems slow enough already, so I am concerned.
What else? My dad got me a cool, if sadly too useful, toy. It's a tennis racket shaped bug zapper. You can wave it in the air at flying insects, or hit crawling ones. A little electricity comes out and sends them on their way to whatever after life creepycrawlies go. I am perhaps a bad person, but it is extremely satisfying to watch. With all the construction going on in my apartment, and no end in sight, the bugs are worse. It's all a big pain in the ass, frankly.
I have not been getting the amount of writing done that i would like. Nothing new there, sadly. I wanted to write this weekend, but nothing in the way of viable ideas hit me. If anyone wanted to prompt me, that would be cool. I did manage a little something for McSmooch this week, a followup to my soap opera AU, which I'll repost later. I'm feeling a little extra-bummed about my writing since the SGABB was due a few days ago, and as always, I didn't manage to do it, or in fact get near. I still love my idea, though, and hope to finish it on its own.
current mood:  blah
current music: Amazing Race
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Monday, October 5th, 2009
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19:52 Crossing the Streams!
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Is anyone watching the crossover palooza that is House tonight? Or is it just me?
( Cut for spoileryness )
Also, does anyone have a spare prompt for me for mcsmooch? My fluff brain isn't giving me anything.
And having (I couldn't resist the horror) watched SGU, is there a Last Starfighter SGA AU? Perhaps with a young John and his mother having left the wealth of his father, to live at the trailer park.
current mood:  shocked
current music: House
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calm